The Number 4

It’s haus of bambi’s 4th season and I don’t mean to brag, but I have been a career-track dancer since I was 4 years old. *Hair toss. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t super believe in numerology or anything, but the number 4 keeps appearing and guiding my steps. I mean, what comes after 4 but 5, 6, 7, 8.

I was born on May 9. That’s 5/9 and 9 minus 5 is 4 or 9 plus 5 is 14.

My birthmother was 14 when I was born. I grew up with 4 names that never all fit on official forms. Fill the little boxes and choose which middle name to be today. The name of my first “dance company” was simply my initials. rdhm. 4 little consonants.

My first apartment was #4 at 114 Macdougal Street in Greenwich Village (NYC).

I love 4 letter words. They condense so much big meaning (sometimes oppositionally) into such a tight space. Love/hate, work/rest, life… something else. If the purpose of language is to communicate, 4 letter words pull their weight. FUCK. Donk. WWJD? Somewhere in the multiverse, my dance company is still called rdhm.

Not to get spiritual, but the number 4 is like pretty important across cultures and symbolizes truth, completeness, grounded foundations, and sturdy roofs. The ancient Egyptians believed that the heavens were held up on four pillars (the djed). Buddhism teaches that there are 4 noble truths to human existence. My childhood bed was a 4 poster bed like in Harry fucking Potter. Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John, bless the bed that I lie on.

If you’ll indulge me, I want you to think about 4 things for the rest of today to ground yourself. I’m not gonna tell you what they are, I don’t know your life. But if you need some examples, fine:

North, south, east, and west

Earth, wind, and fire, and water

4 horsethems of the apocalypse

LeToya, LaTavia, Kelly, and Beyonce

Did you know the Greek word for 4, tessera, is also the word for a single tile inside a mosaic. I love that. “Puzzle piece” or “cog in a machine” sure aren’t the same at describing the single part of a bigger picture.

So call me Tess, baby, cuz I’m grateful to be a part of something bigger with you. Like it or not, we’re in our Tess Era, tbh.